Asphalt Jesus

@ Duck and Decanter

Have you ever been to a twelve step meeting? In twelve step programs they often refer to a “higher power” which some people call “God” but others refer to the higher power as something other than God. The simplest definition I ever heard was that GOD stands for Good Orderly Direction. That is about as basic as you can get. Being pretty simple myself that definition has an appeal for me. The reason I am thinking about twelve step programs and addiction is that I have been reading a lot about death and addiction lately. First there was Diane Schuler in New York who drove the wrong way on the Taconic State Parkway. The police say she had way more alcohol and TCP in her body than was legal.

Schuler’s blood-alcohol level was well above the legal limit, and she still had undigested alcohol in her stomach, State Police Maj. William Carey said Tuesday.

Blood tests also showed she had smoked marijuana 15 minutes to an hour before the crash, said Betsy Spratt, chief toxicologist for the Westchester County medical examiner.

As reported in The Washington Post article, NY police: Wrong-way crash driver was drunk, high, August 4, 2009

Then there was the TV pitchman Billy Mays. Billy died of a heart attack but:

The medical examiner “concluded that cocaine use caused or contributed to the development of his heart disease, and thereby contributed to his death,” the office said in a press release.

As reported in Huston Chronicle article, Autopsy blames cocaine in Billy Mays’ death, August 7, 2009

I had a good friend that died of a heart attack in a Seattle hotel room while he was there on business. This was back in the 80s. I never heard of any drugs in my friends system. But then I might not have been on the distribution list for that information. I do know that he had done cocaine. It was something he had learned in Vietnam. Even then I knew that coke was associated with heart conditions. And I wondered.

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In both of these deaths the families are aghast at the idea that there was any abuse of drugs or alcohol. – Technically alcohol is a drug so I wonder why we always need to say “drug or alcohol” – I know about being aghast that a family member abuses alcohol. I was married to a woman that went to the original twelve step program, Alcoholic Anonymous, long after we were divorced. I asked her later if she had been drinking while we were married. Her answer was “Of course”! So much for my keen powers of observation. My denial (and that of Schuler’s and May’s families) is not that unusual.

“We were totally unaware of any non-prescription drug usage and are actively considering an independent evaluation of the autopsy results,” Mays’ family said in a statement.

As reported in Huston Chronicle article, Autopsy blames cocaine in Billy Mays’ death, August 7, 2009

Schuler’s husband, Daniel, and other family members said the 36-year-old Long Island mother and cable executive was never known to drink. His lawyer insists that a medical problem – an abscessed tooth, diabetes, stroke or a pulmonary embolism – might have led the mom to self-medicate herself.

As reported in LoHud.com article, Alcohol keeps ‘cagey’ grip on moms, August 9, 2009

Daniel Schuler has a lawyer because relatives of the three men that died in the accident caused by his wife’s driving the wrong way are planning to sue her estate. He even had a tearful press conference (available here with more about denial in the Schuler tragedy: Family denial or hidden personal demons?) in which he denied that his wife was an alcoholic. He has not only the shame to overcome but legal woes as well. The Mays family has only the shame but their denial is just as strong

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There are many twelve step organizations (AA, NA, CA for users; Al-Anon, Nar-Anon, ACOA for friends and family members of users; OA and EA for non-drug related abusers) that are based on the 12 steps developed by Bill W, a co-founder of AA. Many people have found them to be useful in dealing either with their own addictions or those of others. A basic premise of the twelve steps is that each individual is only responsible for his or her own actions (or addictions) and no one else’s. I believe both the Schuler and Mays family could use a dose of that.

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Billy and Diane are dead. Does it make any difference to them how they died? I don’t believe that it makes any difference to the other six people that died – because of Diane’s actions – either. Likewise, I seriously doubt that it makes any difference to God.

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I wonder: how one would go about praying to Good Orderly Direction?

@ Duck and Decanter

Your boy, Lester, will never learn music.

Childhood piano teacher of Lester William Polsfuss in a note to Lester’s mother.

As reported in New York Times article Les Paul, Guitar Innovator, Dies at 94, August 13 2009

You may know Lester better as Les Paul. He died Thursday, 13 August 2009.

@ Duck and Decanter

Sometimes my mother asks me if I went to the National Cemetery in North Phoenix. She usually asks this after some holiday weekend when she and my brother have gone to the columbarium where my father’s ashes are. I am sympathetic but my answer is always the same. “No, I didn’t go this weekend, maybe next.” My dad died last December. I don’t think my mom is taking his death very well. She is having a difficult time of it. As is my brother. I remember my brother once telling me that he could not imagine life without our parents. My brother has always been closer to my parents than I am. The lack of attachment I attribute to the fact that I was left in care of my maternal grandparents before the age of six months and not re-united with the rest of the family until after the age of 18 months. It was during this period that my brother was born. So it was that I never bonded well with my family.

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The lack of bonding at an early age has very little to do with my refusal to visit with my father’s ashes. Before his death I visited with my father nearly daily, first in the rehab facility and then the group home in which he was placed. I was his most frequent visitor. I wondered at the time if perhaps my lack of closeness enabled me to visit him more often than the other members of my family. I still wonder. The real reason why I have no intention of going to where his ashes are stored – ever -, is that for me the remains in the columbarium are a collection of atoms that formerly were part of my father’s body. Those atoms have been around for more than 4.6 billion years. They have been around ever since they were formed in the nuclear furnace of the unknown star that died to give life to our solar system. It is difficult for me to become nostalgic about something that old that only spent the last 8o odd years as part of a human body.

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As far as I can tell, I am in the minority in holding this opinion. Last June I read about a seven year old boy that fell into a canal in Salt Lake City. Tuesday (4 August 2009) I read in The Salt Lake Tribune article, McEntee: Finding Trejon a final act of love, how they found his body. The body apparently floated down the canal and into The Great Salt Lake where it was found last Saturday (1 August 2009). He was found by friends of his grandfather. The grandfather never stopped looking for Trejon.

It’s what those who love the missing almost always do. They marshal their strength and hope, their friends and relatives, and they never stop searching.

As reported in The Salt Lake Tribune article, McEntee: Finding Trejon a final act of love, 08/04/2009

I can understand searching as long as there is hope for life but it has always seemed to me that there is a point after which all you are looking for is a body. What is the point of that? From a somewhat different perspective I read of finding the only MIA from the first Gulf War. U.S. Pilot’s Remains Found in Iraq After 18 Years was in the New York Times but the same story was carried in many papers across the country. It seems that 18 years ago some Bedouins found the dead pilot (apparently he did not survive the crash of his aircraft) and buried him. Recently an Iraqi led some US Marines to the grave. The navy took the opportunity to get a little propaganda in:

Our Navy will never give up looking for a shipmate, regardless of how long or how difficult that search may be.

Adm. Gary Roughead, chief of naval operations as reported in New York Times article, U.S. Pilot’s Remains Found in Iraq After 18 Years , August 2, 2009

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I am glad that the families of Trejon Fite and Capt. Michael Scott Speicher can have some closure. But for me I always think of these words in similar situations:

… let the dead bury their own dead…

Jesus of Nazareth, as reported by Matthew and Luke, ca 30 CE

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There is something I am a little curious about. Why did the Bedouins bury an American pilot in the middle of a war?

@ Duck and Decanter

In my last post I mentioned the hike on Camelback Mountain with Arizona Outdoor and Travel Club. On that trail in the steep ascent out of Echo canyon there is a section that is bounded on one side by a towering cliff and the off side has a high mesh fence (so that hikers won’t fall off the cliff). The trail is wide and steep. It is so steep that there are two hand rails (made of iron pipe) to enable ascent and descent. One handrail is next to the fence and the other is in the middle of the trail. The fence (and its handrail) is on the up traffic’s left. On this particular hike (Saturday, July 25), a man was going up along the handrail next to the fence (his left). One of the things I dislike about hiking on Camelback Mountain , my usual Summit trail, or any of the more popular trails in Phoenix is that many people neither know nor practice trail etiquette. This man was staying to the left going up and thus violating the “stay right” rule which was causing problems with people coming down (and staying to the right). The problem was that for them staying to the right was conflicting with the “give those going up the right of way” rule.

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I was going up and had watched 3 or 4 problems occur with this situation. When I had overtaken and was passing the man causing the problems, I violated one of my personal (on trail and off trail) rules. I gave him some unsolicited advice. I suggested that he might have fewer problems if he stayed to the right. I am sure that he had gotten this advice before because his answer was instantaneous. He said:

It doesn’t work that way for me. It just doesn’t work the same for everyone.

Anonymous

I have been thinking about that all week. What happens when the right of an individual (to decide what works for him/her) causes problems with others following rules designed to eliminate conflict? Personally I believe following good trail etiquette makes for a more pleasant hiking experience. Not everyone agrees. Having thought about it for a week I am just as happy that he wasn’t staying to the right. He was moving a lot slower than I was and I would have had to pass him if he had been following “the rules”. While I haven’t made any decisions about the basic question of individual rights vs. problems for the many, I have resolved to follow more closely my own rule about giving advice. Especially the unsolicited variety.

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The following Monday, July 27, I was in Flagstaff and hiked the Elden Lookout Trail #4. Mt. Elden is a lava dome associated with the San Francisco Peaks lava field. It is 2.5 miles from the parking lot at the trail head to the lookout. That is about the same distance as from the start of the Cholla trail to Echo Canyon on Camelback Mountain. The distance is the only thing the two hikes have in common. Camelback tops out at 2,706 feet while Mt. Elden reaches 9299 feet (The sign at the lookout reads 9300, but that is incorrect). The gain in elevation for the Mt. Elden trail is almost a thousand feet more than that of Camelback (2,200 vs. 1,300). The climb up was difficult, sweaty and worth the effort. I blamed the sweat on the high humidity – it had rained the afternoon before – but I suspect my age, the elevation, my condition and the steepness of the trail had more to do with it. As on the previous hike I heard something that gave me food for thought.

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The Elden Lookout Trail #4 intersects the Pipeline trail and the Fatmans Loop trail about 0.9 miles from the trailhead. I was about halfway between the intersection and the trailhead on the way back to my car when I met a group of six people on their way up. The group included a woman with a gorgeous Irish setter. The woman asked me how much farther it was. My reply was: “That depends on where you are headed.” What she said next just floored me.

We don’t know where we are going.

Woman with the Irish setter

Now, who would ask for the distance to an unknown destination? Keeping in mind the resolution made after my Camelback hike, I told her that there was a sign a little farther along the trail giving the answers to her question.

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I was reminded of the Irish setter woman’s question as I read Spong’s Newsletter Thursday morning. It was about The Study of Life, Part 1, A Journey Into the Mystery of Life Begins in the Amazon Rain Forest and somewhat indirectly about his forth coming book on life after death. As Spong so eloquently points out in his column no one knows where (or when) we are going when we die. That doesn’t stop us, like the woman on the trail, from asking:

How much farther?

Woman with the Irish setter

I know that it is farther for some than others. Is it different for everyone or does it work the same for everyone? I especially wonder about people that are happy when false prophets get convicted and go to jail (see my previous post below). But… I haven’t a clue.

@ Duck and Decanter

I really feel good this morning, for two reasons. The first is that I did the rump to head and back again hike on Camelback Mountain with Arizona Outdoor and Travel Club. The only bad part of the hike was that I forgot my camera. Drats. The hike took four hours. We started at 5:15 so it was a bit warm at the end. It was great.

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The second reason is that they convicted 74 year old Tony Alamo of violating the Mann Act. I read about the trial last Thursday (here) in the Singapore Straits Times and the again in a more complete story in the Washington Times article, Evangelist convicted of sex crimes. According to the article he could get up to 175 years. I hope he does. I have posted about Tony before – here. Tony denies everything and says that

I’m just another one of the prophets that went to jail for the Gospel

Evangelist convicted of sex crimes in the Washington Times, Saturday, July 25, 2009

If you want Tony’s side go here. I am not buying Tony’s story. The article said that the jurors wept as the witnesses told their stories. Can you see the five women (now 17 to 35) coming forward in court to tell how when they were younger (the youngest was eight or nine) they were “married” to Tony and sexually abused. What courage that must have taken.

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One question that occurred to me was: Where were the parents? And what is being done about them? Google located the answer for me. In an Associated Press dispatch, Parents’ role in Alamo case is a tricky question, I found some rather unsatisfactory answers. Some parents apparently encouraged it. Some believed Tony when he said he was a prophet. I guess. This brings to mind scenes of parents sacrificing their children to Moloch or some volcano. I have always had problem understanding how any parent could condone or abet any harm to their children. The answer appears to be that if you believe your salvation and that of your child depends on doing something that you would in other circumstances find abhorrent then you allow it. I don’t buy it any more then I buy Tony’s claim to be a prophet. I also know that in the past some parents in Tony’s church, Tony Alamo Christian Ministries , have complained even if to no avail.

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Tony was tried in a federal court on federal charges (transporting a minor across state lines for immoral purposes). I wonder if any state (Arkansas especially) will prosecute him or any of the parents. Some other questions have occurred to me. How much of my interest in the saga of Tony Alamo is due to my concern with modern Christianity (and the abuses in it)? How much of it is due to the fact that I was sexually abused as a child? I don’t know the answers to any of the questions. I do know I am happy that Tony got his.

@ Duck and Decanter

I heard some unexpected good news this morning at Asbury UMC. I will quote from the report:

The major actions taken by the conference was the passage of the desert southwest regional conference was to vote in favor of the petition for “all means all”…….it was an example of ”extravagant hospitality”, the theme for this years conference. For all persons in the GLBT it is a major affirmation of our holiness and the example of Christ who was willing to set aside standards of holiness for a ministry extended to all.

Asbury’s lay delegate, Robert Nielson-Tweet

This resolution means that the DSW Conference has become a reconciling conference just as Asbury is a reconciling church.

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I thought it was especially fitting that Robert Nielson-Tweet was the one reporting the news. I have posted on Robert before. Clicking on his name will take you to that post. The news gave a twist to the reading, children’s moment and message for this Sunday.

1. The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

2. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,

3. He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

4. Even though I walk through the darkest valley I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

5. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

6. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Psalm 23 (New International Version)

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I memorized the 23^rd Psalm as a teenager because I lived in fear that God could never love someone like me. I repeated it to myself many times for reassurance. The words I heard the loudest were “…I will fear no evil…”. Now, fifty years later, the promise of goodness and love seems to be more important (and to the point). The DSW Conference in its action has increased goodness and love in the world just a bit more. Not just for the GLBT community but for “all” of us.

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I was meditating on this when Tex Sample gave the Invitation to Holy Communion. In his invitation he mentioned Ludwig Wittgenstein. Now I had never heard of Ludwig before so how could Tex be describing him as the greatest philosopher of the twentieth century? I googled Ludwig (and here) and confirmed that Tex knew what he was talking about. Not that I had any doubts. Ludwig had an immense effect on Bertrand Russell who is my pick for greatest (definitely my favorite) twentieth century philosopher. So, my question is: how is it that I never heard of Ludwig Wittgenstein? I attribute it to a misspent youth (fearing that God could not love me) and an inferior education. I can’t do anything about the misspent youth but I can remedy the education. I checked Amazon, found “Culture and Value” (Tex’s recommendation) by Ludwig Wittgenstein; Paperback; for $10.92. I bought it which is good. Unfortunately I also bought “War of the Lamb, The Ethics of Nonviolence and Peacemaking” by John Howard Yoder; Paperback; for $16.49. I may regret the last one. Yoder always makes my head hurt. I hope “Culture and Value” doesn’t.

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I wonder when the rest of the United Methodists Church will catch up with us in the DSW Conference and Asbury.